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My heart scattered to pieces as you told me yet another lie

You love me , yeah I love you too

You make you seem like a fairy tale

I used to live in it not realizing it were fading away

It was not real it was all promises

I’m just the blessed child who survived death

The second best never really the big deal

I’m not really there cause you never really fought for me

You thought it were best to give up on me cause I was really not like you

They call me vibrant

But they forget I even have a heart

Cried myself to sleep thinking I was not good enough to be called your other half

But now I know

I’m nothing but a memory

Promises promises

I try to bury myself but I keep on hearing your voice inside of me

And every time I listen my heart breaks even more

Cause no matter how much I would like to believe you

You disappoint me even more



The one- episode 3

Sibekezelo didn’t show up at the office he was feeling rather too sick to show his face and he was rather ashamed of himself. Soon his parents would see how much of a failure he was , and to his disgust his brother would not make him forget about this humiliation.

He couldn’t even meet a decent girl who wasn’t like the girls here in Durban who only cared about parties, fashion and flashy things: “a good girl that wants me for me, not what I own” he thought as he went, walking slowly enjoying the aroma of his coffee that he was nursing.

This was his favorite coffee shop that served good quality coffees that made a person come back for more. Eyes on his coffee he bumped into something warm and fragile that made him spill his coffee.

Irritated about a good coffee going to waste, he straightened himself as he stretched his hand to the woman in front of him who was now smeared with coffee. “I am very sorry mam about that” he said apologetically as he gave her his handkerchief monogrammed S.K. “it’s okay you don’t have to apologize these things happen” the lady answered as she walked right passed him. Shocked at what had happened, he had expected her to shout at him, swear at him even but no, she was polite, humble and down to earth.

He closed his eyes and opened them again to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. “Wow, do women like her still exist” he thought as he followed her, “Mam please let me assist you”. “No, it’s okay” she said smiling at him assuring him that there was nothing to worry about. “I insist. Besides I’m the one who bathed you with coffee” he said show-casing his apologetic smile. She shrugged, finally giving in to his offer. When she finally appeared wearing a pair of clean clothes and looking more beautiful than ever he watched her as she made her way to the couch he was sitting on.

She was graceful and calm. He had never seen a creature so fair and innocent “I see you traded my coffee scent for roses”  he said arching his eyebrow and as she laughed a silent laugh that made his head spin like a ball being kicked in different directions. That is how she was making him feel. “I’m Sibekezelo” he said, after a moment. “And I’m Ntombi” she said revealing her pearly white teeth. He was lost in her. She was the perfect woman he didn’t want this day to end, he was in heaven.

“I’m sure you don’t want coffee again, after that…” he said as he presented a tray full of food and juice. “Thank you but you shouldn’t have brought it here. I’m a lady. My mother taught me that a man is the one who needs to be served, not the other way around” she said as she bowed her head in prayer, blessing the food. He watched her intently, as she feasted on her breakfast.

It was the first time he had seen a girl enjoy her food and felt good to watch. She looked at him as if for the first time since she had arrived, their eyes burning into each other. They were lost in a combined spell. Souls colliding, spirits souring. Something deep……….


what do you think is going to happen next?

Dark secrets teaser

Chapter one

Skylar enters her apartment on New York City’s Upper East Side. It’s weird how her life suddenly changed in a blink of an eye. It has been two years since she left South Africa; her father, Nate Winters, woke up one day and decided he couldn’t handle all her drama any longer and so he packed her off. But now, all she wanted now was to go somewhere else new, to a place where no one knew her.

A lot has happened in these past few days. She walked across the incredible lounge she decorated with an interior designer to the wet bar and took out a bottle of vodka. She poured a triple into a glass, swilled two blocks of ice around and threw it back. She was so angry at the world, angry at herself even for not seeing the signs; they were right in front of her the whole time. Everyone knew except her and she felt like a complete idiot.

She gulped down her glass and poured out another two fingers of the liquor. Alcohol gave her the libido. She grabbed all the stuff lying on the table that Shaun had presented her with and threw it into the fireplace; then she calmly pushed the button to turn on the gas. She watched the video 1 camera go up in flames, slowly disappearing as she continued to drink. Luckily, she came from a family where drinking was as common as eating. “I can’t believe how stupid I was,” she thought as she tossed in all the sketches and letters she had received and cherished that reminded her of Shaun and Caity. “They’ll pay for this… no one messes with Skylar Winters and gets away with it.”

Satisfied, she headed for the door. All she wanted to do now was party like a freak and forget about all that was happening in her life and she knew just the right place to go. As she opened the door she saw him, the boy she used to love but now hated with all her heart. Shaun Mariandes, son of the super-rich and most influential family in the whole of N.Y. She looked at him, her eyes full of pain, hurt and hatred. “Hi, Sky….” he started to say as her eyes pierced right through him.

“I know I’m the last person you wanted to see….” “Then why are you here?” she demanded, looking at him in disgust. “I need to talk to you,” he said, brushing right past her and sitting down on one of her cream-white Italian leather couches. Which reminded her of the good old times she had had with him, the long hours they spent together drinking, partying and getting wild on the couches. Her heart ached. She watched him as he gracefully made himself feel welcome in her apartment, cat-like, pouring himself a healthy scotch as he looked at her, standing there still holding the door.

“You have exactly one minute,” she murmured in disdain, folding her arms as she remained framed in the doorway, angry at him for showing up uninvited. “What’s the matter Sky you used to love it when I showed up here unannounced?” He arched his eyebrows and poured another scotch, reminded her of what happened. “Get out Shaun, if you don’t have anything to say,” she 2 said, her eyes glinting across the room, which wiped the smug look off his face. “I’m sorry Sky. Don’t tell me that you don’t mean anything to me. I just wanted to apologize for this whole thing that happened between me and Caity. We didn’t intend on hurting you.” She gripped her arms across her chest and looked at him with cold eyes, as if she were a vampire about to attack its prey. He felt so uncomfortable sitting on the couch; it felt like he was in a mortuary, helpless and weak if not dead yet. He stood up to gain his control. She was a different person now; not the girl he fell in love with. She was now more distant than before


This is the first chapter of my novel dark secrets

Go and and buy the novel dark secrets by kwanele motha its now available at Adams book shop

Tune in on YouTube Chanel to check out the full video and also please subscribe to my Chanel kwanele Motha and my Instagram account @Kwaksy_ and @_eklectic

the one episode 2

The only person his brother loved was himself. “Are you okay bro” Siyanda finally asked his brother assessing him. “Yes “he said finally snapping out of it, “You look distant”. “ I’m fine” he said. Siyanda was preparing to leave. “ I will see you tomorrow with your mystery woman bro” he said as he left.

Sibekezelo, left alone in the boardroom called Nomathemba Vilakazi simply known as Tembo his personal assistant “ Tembo I need you in the boardroom now” he said his voice sounding urgent. Tembo hurried to the boardroom almost falling in her high, high Sissy boy heels she paired with a black pencil skirt that hugged her tiny waist “ Sir, you called” she said as she arrived almost out of breath “Yes, please do sit down”.

Tembo sat there irritated she had to cut, her conversation with her girlfriend on the phone short. “I need you to find me a date for my brother’s dinner tomorrow night” he said looking at her square in the eyes and this made her squirm. “Okay sir so when would you like to meet up with this woman?” she asked jotting down every detail about the woman he is interested in. a good lovable strong person who would be able to take care of the family. “This evening’” he said with a stern voice that made her jump.

Just as he was about to leave Tembo came knocking in his office “I found you a date sir and I think you are going to love her” she said giddily “Oh. So when is she available?’” he asked “She is free tonight and she agreed to meet you at the Hilton hotel, restaurant for dinner”. “Okay, I hope it’s going to last” he said remembering how fast his past relationships ended. It was as if he had a magnet for attracting the wrong women. He wished he was like his younger brother who was getting married to the daughter of the most respected family here in Durban, the Lekatjes, Minenhle, a woman who made every man want to look at her, she was a rare beauty and had no faults.

The family fell in love with her the first day Siyanda brought her home to introduce her. He entered the Hilton hotel wearing his tailor-made suit that made everyone in the restaurant stop what they were doing and stare. The light glinted in his eyes which made them more visual. A woman, wearing a red dress waved her hand signalling him to come to her. As he strolled towards her he saw how beautiful she was behind all that make-up. “Hi I’m Sibekezelo Khumalo” he said as she stood up revealing a rather too short mini dress. He watched her in disgust, as he sat down. “And I’m Nokuphila Zulu, I never thought you were this charming in person” she said smiling and revealing silver teeth. “What happened to your teeth?” he asked surprised to see a lot of bling, she must be a replica of Luthando, an even worse version.

“I didn’t like them white so I changed them to silver. You like them?” She laughed rather too loudly as she saw the expression on his face. “Uhm…What would you like to order?” he asked trying to ignore her question. He was tired of sitting there and listening to all her sob stories about her ex boyfriends, all he wanted to do now was to go to his house and sleep. “ I would like to order a chicken caeser salad please” she said to the waiter; “ lamb chops”. After sitting in silence for a while the waiter arrived with their food. “Are you sure about this salad” he asked as he was digging into his food. One thing he hated was a girl who wasted food, looking at her toying  with her salad “ so Mr. K tell me more about your businesses, how many cars do you own. I need to tell my ex I have upgraded”. He was so angry, all this girl was interested in was his money and not him.

“Please let us not talk shop. We came here to know one another, so let us leave money and cars out of it” he said sipping a large amount of wine. He needed an escape plan. The was no way in hell was he, going to  take her to  dinner let alone the wedding, she was too full of herself. “ Miss Zulu it was a pleasure meeting you but I have  to go, I have  an meeting early meeting tomorrow” he said as he stood up kissing her hand. “Maybe I can come with you, perhaps you might need someone to talk to. It gets lonely in the suburbs” she offered “ No thanks” he said as he paid the bill, and retreated quickly before she could even could even think of catching  up with him and stop him. He had never run away from a woman before, but this was worse because she was so impossible.

If he were to bring her to the dinner she would humiliate him. Finally, he arrived at home dialing his assistant. “What a disaster you made me go out with, if I didn’t need you, you would be fired right now” he roared and that made her throat tight. Sibekezelo had a presence. When he was in a room people became aware of him and when he was talking he demanded their attention. He was bold and tough and that made people count their words when they talked to him. “Sir I’m very sorry. I thought she was….” she couldn’t even finish her sentence before she started sobbing “it’s okay, your job is safe” he said as he hung up. Falling on top of his silk sheets, he succumbed to a deep slumber .


Are you guys ready to find out what’s going to happen next? because i am

What if

We live in a world filled with what ifs, where not everything is in black and white or where people get to see the real you; coz we judge each other without bypassing the surface

What a cruel world that we live in? what if I never visited the dentist? Maybe I would have lost another of my babies like the one that I gave up for adoption

What if I had wore the same pair of shoes instead of the different pairs that I had forced together without asking the shoes for their consent; whether or not they wanted to rock my day at the same time- that was pretty selfish of me because I thought a no body like me would forge her way into the industry and be like “hey, Kwaksy here and I’m going to marvel you with my passion” but that doesn’t really happen like one imagines it, especially when you don’t have the numbers to back it all up

What if I never loved being a radio or a TV presenter like I love talking maybe carrying this hope wouldn’t have hurt as much as it does

What if I had the perfect parents? the kind who gave me the world and forget i even exist

what if i had known what i know now what then? coz it wouldn’t have changed the world

What if I’m just a shadow of my parents and never the real thing? So what do I tell my younger self? The one who still swims in the pool of promises

What if I was never born maybe my best friends could’ve written another me? Tell me something a bunch of ifs; would you have created me like I would have?

What if writing was my life line the only thing keeping me sane in this lifetime? What if there is something darker in all of us what then? Do we run away or do we hide behind the chastened gates called fear

No, that’s all I’m going to say because the pages speak for themselves and it has arrived “Dark Secrets” written by Kwanele Motha is the answer to it all. Go and get yourself a copy  


The one

Sibekezelo Khumalo a man every girl dreamt of being with. He was a tall, dark and handsome Zulu man who respected his traditions and culture. He had achieved so much but had no one with which to share it. He owned his own advertising company that employed almost over a million employees. He sat down on his leather chair and looked at how the figures had risen ever since he broke up with that gold digging tart Luthando. A girl not worthy to become a true “makoti”; a wife, a person who could take care of the family. He needed a pillar, a person who was going to stand by him and share in his sufferings and happiness. All Luthando did for him was take his credit card and waste his money. “Sir your brother is here to see you” his assistant said as she appeared on the tinted glass doors. “Let him in” he answered. She left to call his younger brother, Siyanda Khumalo a young and energetic man who had his way with the ladies. “Hi bro”, Siyanda said as he entered his brothers kingdom. “Impressive. Mom would be so happy to see how hard you’ve worked to achieve all of this” he said looking around approvingly _ “a true Khumalo prince”. “Thanks bro, so what brings you here?” he asked offering him a seat on the white cream leather couches imported from Italy. As the assistant brought those cold beverages, uphuthu and spinach. “I’m meeting Minenhle for dinner so we can finalize the plans for the wedding. Maybe you can come tomorrow, bring your girlfriend” he suggested as he saw his brothers face turn sour, Sibekezelo was a very competitive person and hated losing, that is why he studied further and achieved his doctorate just to prove that he was the one with the brains in the family. He was so jealous of his younger brother he thought that he was going to be the first one to tie the knot, but that never happened, as he had expected. “Of course I will bring someone” he said. The two men took a quick tour to assess the marketing projects, Sibekezelo filled with inner conflict had forgotten he was still in the boardroom with his brother. He had to find a wife, one who would be worthy of his heart, or his father would get him an arranged bride. He couldn’t understand how his younger brother did it. Dating a very fine woman like Minenhle, let alone marrying her. Who would want to marry his brother, an egocentric person. The world must have turned upside down.

Tune in next time to find out what happens next in “The one” series


Not a technology person

So I’ve juss realised that me and technology will never be friends since I never understand how these appliances work? I mean all they do is work against me first it was my laptop which I named the black swan which I now regret since all it brought to my life was bad luck. I updated the thing which crashed the PC and ended up giving up on me. Secondly, my phone which whenever I charge it, instead of the battery increasing it just decreases because that’s how much I’m worth these days. Maybe it’s just me or maybe I’m not as innovative as I thought I was


Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three “zerotoh bloggers can find you, too.i